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I sit here staring at a white page...

...watching the black cursor flash before me…

A prompt to start writing my final words to you…my darling, Mum. Where do I even begin?…I always remember you recounting the day I was born. You’d say you didn’t remember any pain, just the joy of holding me for the first time. “Darling it was all worth it, because I had you, I wanted you so much”…I can hear you saying these words to me so many times over my life…We loved each other intensely…We experienced many ups and many downs, but our love never altered for a second…
I have so many special memories of our precious time together…My heart feels so full it could explode…I know so many things will remind me of you…Bringing back the thousands of happy memories inside of me…I will never forget how your face would light up when I walked in a room…I know how much
you loved me and I know you knew how much I loved you.

We’d dealt with it all…we’d said what needed to be said…and we were in a wonderful place when I said goodbye…It is so hard for me to imagine my life without you, I will miss you more than  words can say…But I feel you close to me now and I know exactly what you’d say…"I love you darling, everything will be ok"…

You always said you were stronger than your mother and that I was stronger than you…I will gather the strength inside to see me through…

You would always tell me how much you admired me as a woman and as a mother…Those words meant the world to me…
You recently gave me four stones, each engraved with a word — Hope, Love, Courage and Serenity…All things you wished for me,

I will hold them close in challenging times ahead…

You’re now free from your ills…there’s no more pain Mum, no more struggles,

You are free.

I will finish this final love letter with the words you’d sing to me when I was young and the words I sang over and over to you in our final moments together…
You are my sunshine my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are grey
You’ll never know dear how much I love you
So please don’t take my sunshine away…